//<![CDATA[
var quote=new Array();
quotes[1] = "&quot;When two men in business always agree, one of them is unnecessary.&quot; - William Wrigley Jr.";
quotes[2] = "&quot;Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.&quot; - Bill Cosby";
quotes[3] = "&quot;The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards.&quot; - Arthur Koestler";
quotes[4] = "&quot;In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known.&quot; - Thomas Pickering";
quotes[5] = "&quot;Chess is as elaborate a waste of human intelligence as you can find outside an advertising agency.&quot; - Raymond Chandler";
quotes[6] = "&quot;I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.&quot; - Jules Renard";
quotes[7] = "&quot;If I only had a little humility, I'd be perfect.&quot; - Ted Turner";
quotes[8] = "&quot;Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.&quot; - Ralph Waldo Emerson";
quotes[9] = "&quot;The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it.&quot; - George Orwell";
quotes[10] = "&quot;Few people can see genius in someone who has offended them.&quot; - Robertson Davies";
quotes[11] = "&quot;Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.&quot; - Phyllis Diller";
quotes[12] = "&quot;All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.&quot; - Sean O'Casey";
quotes[13] = "&quot;Indeed, history is nothing more than a tableau of crimes and misfortunes.&quot; - Voltaire";
quotes[14] = "&quot;Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.&quot; - Ambrose Bierce";
quotes[15] = "&quot;The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.&quot; - Sir Richard Francis Burton";
quotes[16] = "&quot;The truth is more important than the facts.&quot; - Frank Lloyd Wright";
quotes[17] = "&quot;Never judge a book by its movie.&quot; - J. W. Eagan";
quotes[18] = "&quot;I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.&quot; - William H. Mauldin";
quotes[19] = "&quot;Money doesn't always bring happiness. People with ten million dollars are no happier than people with nine million dollars.&quot; - Hobart Brown";
quotes[20] = "&quot;When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.&quot; - Bernard Bailey";
quotes[21] = "&quot;The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.&quot; - George F. Will";
quotes[22] = "&quot;An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.&quot; - Friedrich Engels";
quotes[23] = "&quot;It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.&quot; - Eugene McCarthy";
quotes[24] = "&quot;The word 'meaningful' when used today is nearly always meaningless.&quot; - Paul Johnson";
quotes[25] = "&quot;I shot an arrow into the air, and it stuck.&quot; - Graffito";
quotes[26] = "&quot;Most men are within a finger's breadth of being mad.&quot; - Diogenes the Cynic";
quotes[27] = "&quot;Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age.&quot; - William Feather";
quotes[28] = "&quot;It's so much easier to suggest solutions when you don't know too much about the problem.&quot; - Malcolm Forbes";
quotes[29] = "&quot;I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, &quot;I wanna grow up and be a critic.&quot;&quot; - Richard Pryor";
quotes[30] = "&quot;Behind every great fortune there is a crime.&quot; - Honore de Balzac";
quotes[31] = "&quot;Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman. Believing what he read made him mad.&quot; - George Bernard Shaw";
quotes[32] = "&quot;Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.&quot; - Mark Twain";
quotes[33] = "&quot;Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.&quot; - Kin Hubbard";
quotes[34] = "&quot;If atheism is a religion, then &quot;Off&quot; is a TV channel.&quot; - unknown";
quotes[35] = "&quot;It is a common delusion that you make things better by talking about them.&quot; - Dame Rose Macaulay";
quotes[36] = "&quot;What if this weren't a hypothetical question?&quot; - unknown";
quotes[37] = "&quot;Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows.&quot; - David T. Wolf";
quotes[38] = "&quot;A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.&quot; - Groucho Marx";
quotes[39] = "&quot;For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.&quot; - H. L. Mencken";
quotes[40] = "&quot;The public will believe anything, so long as it is not founded on truth.&quot; - Edith Sitwell";
quotes[41] = "&quot;I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.&quot; -	Woody Allen";
quotes[42] = "&quot;Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.&quot; - Ernest Haskins";
quotes[43] = "&quot;Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it's worse when they are wearing dark glasses and have streamers in their antlers because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.&quot; - Ellen DeGeneres";
quotes[44] = "&quot;Look at cows, and remeber that the greatest scientists in the world have never discovered how to make grass into milk.&quot; - Michael Pupin";
quotes[45] = "&quot;The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.&quot; - Eden Phillpots";
quotes[46] = "&quot;I have always believed that writing advertisments is the second most profitable form of writing. The first, of course, is ransom notes.&quot; - Philip Dusenberry";
quotes[47] = "It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence to support this.&quot; - Bertrand Russell";
quotes[48] = "&quot;It is perfectly American to be wrong.&quot; - Newt Gingrich";
quotes[49] = "&quot;You couldn't get me on Mars if it were the last place on Earth.&quot; - Erma Cohen";
quotes[50] = "&quot;It's useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love, drunk, or running for office.&quot; - Shirley MacLaine";
quotes[51] = "&quot;The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems to take longer.&quot; - Edward R Murrow";
quotes[52] = "&quot;Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands&ndash;and eat just one.&quot; - Judith Viorst";
quotes[53] = "&quot;All experiance is great, provided you live through it. If it kills you, you've gone too far.&quot; - Alice Neel";
quotes[54] = "&quot;They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist&ndash;&quot; - last words of Union General John Sedgwick";
quotes[55] = "&quot;Now now, dear man. This is not the time to be making enemies.&quot; - Voltaire, when asked on his deathbed to &quot;renounce Satan&quot;";
quotes[56] = "&quot;We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.&quot; - unknown";
quotes[57] = "&quot;In veiw of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that He did not also limit his stupidity.&quot; - Konrad Adenauer";
quotes[58] = "&quot;Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.&quot; - unknown";
quotes[59] = "&quot;The future will be better tomarrow.&quot; - Dan Quayle";
quotes[60] = "&quot;Always go to other people's funerals. Otherwise, they won't go to yours&quot; - Yogi Berra";
quotes[61] = "&quot;To err is human, but to really mess things up, you need a computer.&quot; - Neil Gaiman";
quotes[62] = "&quot;There is one thing a philosopher can be relied on to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers.&quot; - Williem James";
quotes[63] = "&quot;The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny&hellip;'&quot; - Issac Asimov";
quotes[64] = "&quot;No one earns a million dollars honestly.&quot; - William Jennings Bryan";
quotes[65] = "&quot;Write a wise saying and your name will live forever&quot; - author unknown (oh, the irony)";
quotes[66] = "&quot;The world's as ugly as sin, and almost as delightful.&quot; - Fredrick Locker-Lampson";
quotes[67] = "&quot;I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.&quot; - George Burns";
quotes[68] = "&quot;Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it.&quot; - Cullen Hightower";
quotes[69] = "&quot;Computers have enabled people to make more mistakes faster than almost any invention in history, with the possible exception of tequila and hand guns.&quot; - Mitch Ratcliffe";
quotes[70] = "&quot;If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the asprin bottle: 'Take two asprin' and 'keep away from children'&quot; - unknown";
quotes[71] = "&quot;When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.&quot; - Elayne Boosler";
quotes[72] = "&quot;Lecturers should remember that the capacity of the mind to absorb is limited to what the seat can endure.&quot; - unknown";
quotes[73] = "&quot;Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.&quot; - L. Frank Baum";
quotes[74] = "&quot;Language is the source of misunderstandings.&quot; - Antoine de Saint-Exupery";
quotes[75] = "&quot;The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.&quot; - Jay Leno";
quotes[76] = "&quot;My doctor gave me six months to live but when I couldn't pay the bill, he gave me six months more.&quot; - Walter Matthau";
quotes[77] = "&quot;I would rather have an inferiority complex and be pleasantly suprised, than have a superiority complex and be rudely awakened&quot; - Vanna Bonta";
quotes[78] = "&quot;Correct me if I'm wrong, but hasn't the fine line between sanity and madness gotten finer?&quot; - George Price";
quotes[79] = "&quot;Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.&quot; - Dave Barry";
quotes[80] = "&quot;There are two different kinds of people in this world: those who finish what they start and so on. . .&quot; - Robert Byrne";
quotes[81] = "&quot;I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.&quot; - Will Rogers";
quotes[82] = "&quot;“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.&quot; - Tommy Cooper";
quotes[83] = "&quot;The sum of intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.&quot; - Proverb";
quotes[84] = "&quot;You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.&quot; - Bob Hope";
quotes[85] = "&quot;Speak when you are angry - and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.&quot; - Laurence Peter";
quotes[86] = "&quot;My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth&mdash;that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally&mdash;but I didn't want to upset him.&quot; - Jack Handy";
quotes[87] = "&quot;The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.&quot; - Marty Feldman";
quotes[88] = "&quot;It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about nowadays saying things against one, behind one's back, that are absolutely and entirely true.&quot; - Oscar Wilde";
quotes[89] = "&quot;The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is outgrossing my films.&quot; - Paul Newman";
quotes[90] = "&quot;When your IQ rises to 28, sell.&quot; - Irwin Corey";
quotes[91] = "&quot;The magician and the politician have much in common: they both have to draw our attention away from what they are really doing.&quot; - Ben Okri";
quotes[92] = "&quot;I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.&quot; - Stephen Hawking";
quotes[93] = "&quot;The average person thinks he isn't.&quot; - Father Larry Lorenzoni";
quotes[94] = "&quot;Three out of every four people make up seventy-five percent of the population.&quot; - Davoid Letterman";
quotes[95] = "&quot;My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a bitch.&quot; - Jack Nicholson";
quotes[96] = "&quot;I’ve never had a problem with drugs. I’ve had problems with the police.&quot; - Keith Richards";
quotes[97] = "&quot;The U.S. isn't the perfect place, but its better than most people have managed to come up with. And all my stuff is there.&quot; - Jim Butcher";
quotes[98] = "&quot;I love sleep. It's the best of both worlds&mdash;you get to be alive and unconscious.&quot; - Rita Rudner";
quotes[99] = "&quot;The sign said 'This door must remain closed at all times.' Correct me if I'm wrong, but dosn't that defeat the purpose of a door?&quot; - Danny McCrossan";
quotes[100] = "&quot;I realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.&quot; - Marcus Brigstocke";
quotes[101] = "&quot;The differance between reality and fiction? Fiction has to make sense.&quot; - Tom Clancy";
quotes[102] = "&quot;Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.&quot; - Mark Twain";
quotes[103] = "&quot;Laughter is the best medicine&mdash;unless you have facial injuries.&quot; - Linda Smith";
quotes[104] = "&quot;I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.&quot; - Mitch Hedberg";
quotes[105] = "&quot;Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.&quot; - Mary Ellen Kelly";
quotes[106] = "&quot;It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.&quot; - Abraham Lincoln";
quotes[107] = "&quot;A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.";
quotes[108] = "&quot;A superstition is a premature explanation that overstays its time.&quot; - George Iles";
quotes[109] = "&quot;Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.&quot; - Groucho Marx";
quotes[110] = "&quot;You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.&quot; - Ronald Reagan";
quotes[111] = "&quot;To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of whom are absent.&quot; - Robert Copeland";
quotes[112] = "&quot;In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.&quot; - Mogens Jallberg";
quotes[113] = "&quot;I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe you don't remember me!' I'm like, 'Oh Dad I'm sorry!'&quot; - Ellen DeGeneres";
quotes[114] = "&quot;Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.&quot; - Andre Gide";
quotes[115] = "&quot;Politics is just show business for ugly people.&quot; - Jay Leno";
quotes[116] = "&quot;Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomarrow in Australia.&quot; - Charles Schulz";
quotes[117] = "&quot;The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money.&quot; - David Richerby";
quotes[118] = "&quot;There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.&quot; - David Letterman";
quotes[119] = "&quot;If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?&quot; - Laurence J. Peter";
quotes[120] = "&quot;Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything.&quot; - Charles Kuralt";
quotes[121] = "&quot;Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.&quot; - William Shakespeare";
quotes[122] = "&quot;I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.&quot; - John Cage";
quotes[123] = "&quot;Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.&quot; - Douglas Adams";
quotes[124] = "&quot;There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the labor of thinking.&quot; - Thomas A. Edison";
quotes[125] = "&quot;That which has always been accepted by everyone, everywhere, is almost certain to be false.&quot; - Paul Valery";
quotes[126] = "&quot;You will find that the State is the kind of organization which, though it does big things badly, does small things badly, too.&quot; - John Kenneth Galbraith";
quotes[127] = "&quot;Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.&quot; - Frank Leahy";
quotes[128] = "&quot;I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling, I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.&quot; - Mitch Hedberg";
quotes[129] = "&quot;I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.&quot; - E. B. White";
quotes[130] = "&quot;Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley Temple could do it at the age of four.&quot; - Katharine Hepburn";
quotes[131] = "&quot;I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.&quot; - Noel Coward";
quotes[132] = "&quot;My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.&quot; - Benjamin Disraeli";
quotes[133] = "&quot;Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.&quot; - Napoleon Bonaparte";
quotes[134] = "&quot;Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.&quot; - P. J. O'Rourke";
quotes[135] = "&quot;The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.&quot; - Lucille S. Harper";
quotes[136] = "&quot;Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.&quot; - Mark Twain";
quotes[137] = "&quot;Time is that quality of nature which keeps events from happening all at once. Lately it doesn't seem to be working.&quot; - Anonymous";
quotes[138] = "&quot;Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.&quot; - Christopher Hampton";
quotes[139] = "&quot;If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.&quot; - Doug Larson";
quotes[140] = "&quot;Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.&quot; - James F. Byrnes";
quotes[141] = "&quot;The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.&quot; - Will Rogers";
quotes[142] = "&quot;CNN is one of the participants in the war. I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected president but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power.&quot; - Arthur C. Clarke";
quotes[143] = "&quot;The conception of two people living together for twenty-five years without having a cross word suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.&quot; - Alan Patrick Herbert";
quotes[144] = "&quot;It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.&quot; - Pierre Beaumarchais";
quotes[145] = "&quot;If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and no-one dares criticize it.&quot; - Pierre Gallois";
quotes[146] = "&quot;When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.&quot; - Rodney Dangerfield";
quotes[147] = "&quot;It is the wretchedness of being rich that you have to live with rich people.&quot; - Logan Pearsall Smith";
quotes[148] = "&quot;Cynically speaking, one could say that it is true to life to be cynical about it.&quot; - Paul Tillich";
quotes[149] = "&quot;Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?'.&quot; - Steven Wright";
quotes[150] = "&quot;Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.&quot; - Isaac Asimov";
quotes[151] = "&quot;What a blessing it would be if we could open and shut our ears as easily as we open and shut our eyes!&quot; - Georg Christoph Lichtenberg";
quotes[152] =  "&quot;Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.&quot; - Franklin P. Jones";
quotes[153] = "&quot;If 'pro&' is the opposite of 'con', than the opposite of 'Progress' would be 'Congress'.&quot; - Gallagher";
quotes[154] = "&quot;Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory.&quot; - John Kenneth Galbraith";
quotes[155] = "&quot;I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.&quot; - Wilson Mizner";
quotes[156] = "&quot;Never believe anything until it has been officially denied.&quot; - Claud Cockburn";
quotes[157] = "&quot;On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.&quot; - George Orwell";
quotes[158] = "&quot;There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.&quot; - Will Rogers";
quotes[159] = "&quot;I'm not worried about the bullet with my name on it... just the thousands out there marked 'Occupant.'&quot; - Unknown";
quotes[160] = "&quot;If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.&quot; - grafito";
quotes[161] = "&quot;When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web.... Now even my cat has its own page.&quot; - Bill Clinton";
quotes[162] = "&quot;There is never enough time, unless you're serving it.&quot; - Malcolm Forbes";
quotes[163] = "&quot;If you cannot convince them, confuse them.&quot; - Harry S Truman";
quotes[164] = "&quot;After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'&quot; - Ronnie Shakes";
quotes[165] = "&quot;There's a very fine line between not listening and not caring. I like to think that I walk that line every day of my life.&quot; - Leonard Church";
quotes[166] = "&quot;I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.&quot; - Mitch Hedberg";
quotes[167] = "&quot;When all else fails, stop using 'all else'.&quot; - unknown";
quotes[168] = "&quot;You can't have everything. Where would you put it?&quot; - Stephan Wright";
quotes[169] = "&quot;Soccer is like chess but without the dice.&quot; - Lukas Podolski (soccer player)";
quotes[170] = "&quot;I enjoy cooking with wine. Sometimes, I even put it in the food.&quot; - Julia Child";
quotes[171] = "&quot;The universe may have a purpose, but nothing we know suggests that, if so, this purpose has any similarity to ours.&quot; - Bertrand Russel";
quotes[172] = "&quot;It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if its the thirteenth or the fourteenth.&quot; - George Burns";
quotes[173] = "&quot;If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.&quot; - Eddie Izzard";
quotes[174] = "&quot;The reason there is so little crime in Germany is that it's against the law.&quot; - Alex Levin";
quotes[175] = "&quot;Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.&quot; - Jackie Mason";
quotes[176] = "&quot;When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.&quot; - Eric Hoffer";
quotes[177] = "&quot;In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.&quot; - Rita Rudner";
quotes[178] = "&quot;People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.&quot; - Unknown";
quotes[179] = "&quot;I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.&quot; - Ronald Reagan";
quotes[180] = "&quot;You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.&quot; - Dave Barry";
quotes[181] = "&quot;Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.&quot; - Mickey Rooney";
quotes[182] = "&quot;The Internet is like alcohol in some sense. It accentuates what you would do anyway. If you want to be a loner, you can be more alone. If you want to connect, it makes it easier to connect.&quot; - Esther Dyson";
quotes[183] = "&quot;The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war.&quot; - E. B. White";
quotes[184] = "&quot;Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.&quot; - Thomas A. Edison";
quotes[185] = "&quot;Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.&quot; - W. Somerset Maugham";
quotes[186] = "&quot;I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.&quot; - Hunter S. Thompson";
quotes[187] = "&quot;That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.&quot; - A. Whitney Brown";
quotes[188] = "&quot;Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.&quot; - Judith Martin";
quotes[189] = "&quot;Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago.&quot; - Bernard Berenson";
quotes[190] = "&quot;Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.&quot; - George Bernard Shaw";
quotes[191] = "&quot;If we don't change direction soon, we'll end up where we're going.&quot; - Professor Irwin Corey";
quotes[192] = "&quot;A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.&quot; - Wilson Mizner";
quotes[193] = "&quot;I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.&quot; - Fred Allen";
quotes[194] = "&quot;Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.&quot; - Will Rogers";
quotes[195] = "&quot;The radical invents the veiws. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them.&quot; - Mark Twain";
quotes[196] = "&quot;If you are going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you're going to be locked up.&quot; - Hunter S. Thompson";
quotes[197] = "&quot;Progress is made by lazy people looking for easier ways to do things.&quot; - Robert A. Heinlein";
quotes[198] = "&quot;The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.&quot; - James Thurber";
quotes[199] = "&quot;My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.&quot; - Henny Youngman";
quotes[200] = "&quot;We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.&quot; - Aesop";
quotes[201] = "&quot;Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.&quot; - Phyllis Diller";
quotes[202] = "&quot;I'm not sure I want popular opinion on my side. I've noticed those with the most opinions often have the fewest facts.&quot; - Bethania McKenstry";
quotes[203] = "&quot;I like life. It's something to do.&quot; - Ronnie Shakes";
quotes[204] = "&quot;Never try to tell everything you know. It may take too short a time.&quot; - Norman Ford";
quotes[205] = "&quot;I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.&quot; - Rita Rudner";
quotes[206] = "&quot;I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.&quot; - Demetri Martin";
quotes[207] = "&quot;Sanity is a madness put to good use.&quot; - George Santayana";
quotes[208] = "&quot;Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.&quot; - Robert Orben";
quotes[209] = "&quot;A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth.&quot; - George Bernard Shaw";
quotes[210] = "&quot;The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.&quot; - Oscar Wilde";
quotes[211] = "&quot;Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.&quot;  - Peter De Vries";
quotes[212] = "&quot;Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin";
quotes[213] = "&quot;You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.&quot; - Al Capone";
quotes[214] = "&quot;Reason has always existed, but not always in a reasonable form.&quot; - Karl Marx";
quotes[215] = "&quot;Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.&quot; - Redd Foxx";
quotes[216] = "&quot;I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly.&quot; - Michel de Montaigne";
quotes[217] = "&quot;Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a fish a man, and he'll eat for weeks!&quot; - Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka and Toshihiro Kawabata";
quotes[218] = "&quot;Television is the first truly democratic culture - the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want.&quot; - Clive Barnes";
quotes[219] = "&quot;Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?&quot; - Clarence Darrow";
quotes[220] = "&quot;Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.&quot; - Jane Wagner";
quotes[221] = "&quot;There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.&quot; - Benjamin Disraeli";
quotes[222] = "&quot;History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.&quot; - Abba Eban";
quotes[223] = "&quot;We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?&quot; - Jean Cocteau";
quotes[224] = "&quot;Free advice is worth the price.&quot; - Robert Half";
quotes[225] = "&quot;They certainly give very strange names to diseases.&quot; - Plato";
quotes[226] = "&quot;Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it.&quot; - Moses Hadas";
quotes[227] = "&quot;Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.&quot; - George Carlin";
quotes[228] = "&quot;Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation.&quot; - Walter Winchell";
quotes[229] = "&quot;We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.&quot; - Johann von Goethe";
quotes[230] = "&quot;It's not the end of the world, but you can see it from here.&quot; - Pierre Trudeau";
quotes[231] = "&quot;Ninety-nine percent of the people in the world are fools, and the rest are in great danger of contagion.&quot; - Thornton Wilder";
quotes[232] = "&quot;The world today makes no sense, so why should I paint pictures that do?&quot; - Pablo Picasso";
quotes[233] = "&quot;What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?&quot; - Ursula K. Lee Guin";
quotes[234] = "&quot;We all have strength enough to endure the misfortunes of others.&quot; - Francois de La Rochefoucauld";
quotes[235] = "&quot;Confusion is always the most honest response.&quot; - Marty Indik";
quotes[236] = "&quot;Any great truth can&mdash;and eventually will&mdash;be expressed as a cliche. A cliche is a sure and certain way to dilute an idea. For instance, my grandmother used to say, 'The black cat is always the last one off the fence.' I have no idea what she meant, but at one time, it was undoubtedly true.&quot; - Solomon Short";
quotes[237] = "&quot;When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.&quot; - Brendan Behan";
quotes[238] = "&quot;If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.&quot; - Mo Udall";
quotes[239] = "&quot;If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.&quot; - Paul Beatty";
quotes[240] = "&quot;Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once.&quot; - Tallulah Bankhead";
qutoes[241] = "&quot;I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there.&quot; - Herb Caen";
quotes[142] = "&quot;Finance is the art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears.&quot; - Robert W. Sarnoff";
quotes[243] = "&quot;I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.&quot; - E. V. Lucas";
quotes[244] = "&quot;Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.&quot; - George Bernard Shaw";
quotes[245] = "&quot;Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together.&quot; - Georg Christoph Lichtenberg";
quotes[246] = "&quot;In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.&quot; - John C. Dvorak";
quotes[247] = "&quot;Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.&quot; - W. Somerset Maugham";
quotes[248] = "&quot;A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits.&quot; - Woodrow Wilson";
quotes[249] = "There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through... There needs to be a monster truck option. - Jeph Jacques";
quotes[250] = "&quot;The shortest distance between two points is under construction.&quot; - Noelie Altito";
quotes[251] = "&quot;Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.&quot; - Mark B. Cohen";
quotes[252] = "&quot;Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those whom we cannot resemble.&quot; - Samuel Johnson";
quotes[253] = "&quot;The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.&quot; - Abbie Hoffman";
quotes[254] = "&quot;How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese?&quot; - Charles De Gaulle";
quotes[255] = "&quot;Good taste is the worst vice ever invented.&quot; - Edith Sitwell";
quotes[256] = "&quot;The squeaking wheel doesn't always get the grease. Sometimes it gets replaced.&quot; - Vic Gold";
quotes[257] = "&quot;An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.&quot; - Simon Cameron";
quotes[258] = "&quot;It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.&quot; - Judith Martin";
quotes[259] = "&quot;It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.&quot; - Dick Cavett";
quotes[260] = "&quot;Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.&quot; - Will Rogers";
quotes[261] = "&quot;No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.&quot; - Michael Pritchard";
quotes[262] = "&quot;In the fight between you and the world, back the world.&quot; - Frank Zappa";
quotes[263] = "&quot;I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator and name it after the IRS.&quot; - Robert Bakker";
quotes[264] = "&quot;It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.&quot - Darrin Weinberg";
quotes[265] = "&quot;I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.&quot; - Groucho Marx";




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