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Only In Japan

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Honda UX-3


I normally start these articles with some generalized statement about a certain aspect of Japanese culture, possibly regarding giant robots. I’m not going to lie, I can literally find no possible aspect of Japanese culture that would serve as an effective intro for the Honda UX-3, apart from the fact that it is strange. Very very strange.

Looking like the deformed bastard lovechild of a Segway and unicycle, with a barstool serving as midwife, the Honda UX-3 is basically a device for transporting pedestrians (completely ignoring the fact that if they’re riding on such a device they’re technically no longer pedestrians). Remember how dumb “pedestrians” look riding a Segway? Well move aside Ginger! There’s a new ring-leader in the freak tent of the transportation circus.

The UX-3 boasts some sort of revolutionary omni-directional driving wheel system, but if you want to hear about that, go to a tech-blog or something. I’m here to talk about the sheer unadulterated ridiculousness of the device. Such as the fact that riding it makes you look like you’ve lifted the seat of your pants to fly away like at the end of The Lorax,only with a giant electric lighter jammed halfway up your a’ss.

But here’s the kicker. The UX-3 is designed specifically to help the elderly move about. Sure, that sounds alright, you say. But the thing is, the UX-3 is steered by making tiny shifts in weight, and in order to go in a straight line, you need to sit ridiculously straight and NOT. MOVE. So if Granny’s arthritis kicks in, she’s going to suddenly swerve to the side, ram into the ottoman or something and fall down, which is generally not a good position for old folk to be in.

Call LifeAlert damn it!

Oh yeah, and it can fold up and be stowed inside the door of your car, but only if you drive the not-currently-in-production Honda EV-N.

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